Heaven’s Grace

The sky raised itself. It felt so warm

I waited for you with open arms

I felt every single thing except your heart

The softest breeze there ever was

Blew without a single cause

Tearing, watching my skin fall apart

A voice came down from heaven’s grace

Into this lonely, empty space

A message that my ears already knew

I cried a little, then I smiled

I sat there thinking for a while

The thing I had to let go was you

With that feeling I felt so light

Like I dropped a weight overnight

I never needed anybody else but me

I laughed at my former self

The one that cried and yelled for help

Such a small price to pay to be free

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52 thoughts on “Heaven’s Grace

  1. 😌 made me smile 😊 take care, blogger Frank πŸ˜‡ Always remember, there is only one God. There should never be, anything, or anyone, ever above 🌱

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  2. It is hard to let go of someone you love. I met a boy in 2004. I had the biggest crush on him. We later became friends through an ex, who was his best friend. We played in the same groups. We hung out all the time. I really loved those guys. I never told anyone how my ex had hurt me. Not even my own family. I felt like I had to protect him. I actually could have arrested him, I had the evidence. But maybe, I just loved him. Too much, to report or say a thing. Maybe I didn’t even know what was happening, until it had happened already. When I saw his parents, and the future I had looking out for me. I once fell in love. With my best friend. He was the first person I ever told, of all of it. I think it was him, who helped me escape, completely from that ex. Unlike any time before then. I don’t think… I ever loved anyone, more than him. Unlike my family, I felt I could tell him every thing. He would be so kind and loving. Wiping my tears away. Telling me, I’d be okay. That’d it’d make sense one day. He tried to fix me, he tried everything. Everything, except, rely on God, and look to God and grow closer to God, to help me. He did at first maybe. We had both lost our way. And I lost people in my life, I grew up with all my life. They died. When I became a Christian, I felt like… gee, does God hate me? He allows these bad things to just always happen to me. How can there be a God, if I am so much in pain, and hurting, I’d doubt. I’d try all I could, to be picture-perfect Holy. To do good. To be good. But it was always so discouraging. To fail. How could God love me? I keep messing up. I’m not good enough, I’d tell myself. Everyone. Is their own worst critic. They don’t need people, telling them, they are any less important or good or something, when they obviously already know, and people like me, we beat ourselves, up. To the point, its all we hear in our heads. Telling us, whats the point? Why am I breathing? How can this be God’s great plan or idea? When I am in pain, hurting. I fell in love once. With someone I loved, so much. From the seventh grade I knew him. We had always been friends. I can’t explain in words, exactly how painful it was. But the closest I can say, is that it was like hearing every single goodbye, at once. It was a stabbing pain. Unlike any heart break ever before. I had never wanted to die, more. I believe I was inches from death, my veins were twitching, and my body was going cold and blacking out. God speaks so clearly, so softly, I heard. Live or die, He asked me. So what I did was live. For Him. No matter what else, He puts me through. No matter I ever see him, again. No matter, asides anything, asides Him. He made me smile again. He made me live again. He became my only love, and person. I fell so much in love with God then. That was when I was led to this strange church. They treated me very strange. As if I was searching for something, that God had not shown me in dreams? Surely I had soul mates to meet. As He had told me. This one guy did not believe me though. Haha. Why? God was pleased with me. For once in my life, all I had was Him, and it was more than enough. To make all my dreams, and every pain, mean something. This life is full of pain and suffering, prejudice and judgment from people who do not know how to love. Those who cannot even take a moment to think or care, how t feels, to step into another persons life, feel exactly as they felt, live as they had, experience what they had. No, people do not care to feel. People do not care to think of those things. They dont care to know. They dont care to ask. They simply do not care. Not everyone can feel, as others feel. I once fell in love. I’ve known him, since 2004. He is my best friend and love. Even if, we dont even speak, anymore. When he left, there was God. His purposes. His love. He is a jealous God. He likes there to be, nothing above. Personally I feel He allows all things, good and bad, to teach us perseverance, love, and humility. Inner quality and things, that help us grow softer, loving, and all He would treasure in us, someday. But that is only what I think. Personally. And if someone new had loved me. They had never told me. But it is so obvious. That I was never anyones, enemy. After all, I can feel, as others are feeling. I saw strange things happen infront of me. But I felt one guy, had to love God a bit more, than anyone. Or anything. Especially. Me. Loving others who do not love you, is tiring πŸ˜” Take care ❀️

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  3. I’m sorry Frank, I’ll be unfollowing you. It is not personal. It is only, your writing makes me think of my friend Scott. Someone I had never known or talked too much. Reading some bloggers writing makes me feel crazy. Insane. As if I know their names. And God does not like me, to feel this way. But I have enjoyed your poems, and appreciate your writing. When I publish, make sure you look for me.

    I already published one book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1537305840?ref_=pe_870760_150889320

    I wrote it, when God had saved me from dying. It is not popular, and no one buys it. But with my broken heart, healed by God, was when I wrote it. To prove to Him, and to the abusive ex, that I could write, is why I wrote it. It is hard to believe, I could not write at all, before this. I would cry writing or typing before. I could not start or finish a thing. When God saved me last year, He had told me to write, that my husband would find me, and that He would be so happy. But I am tired, of loving. I believe one day, I’ll find the one, God always wanted for me. One day, in faith, him, I will meet. Because that is what God had shown me. Until then, I have work to do, in writing. But I have witnessed such, an interesting story. I plan to write of it, and give God the glory. Of how one day, it rained on me, and how I had heard God speak. How I have felt of His seraphim, the warmness of there touches. The angels of the Presence. Archangel Uriel. And all of them. God had chosen me for something very important. But I think I have only scared them. Because I am quiet, shy, introverted, and not known to them. But I did not call them or judge them, by their sins. But I cannot help but feel sometimes, they are demons, and they did. Wrong meaning I have seen interpreted. But that was why, God gone ahead of me, and protected. From someone who could never know how to take care of someone so strong, as me. For only God alone, do I even breathe. It is His glory, I wish they see, not a sinner, like me. Remember me, as Kalyn. Because that is what I am. That is the only name I know, that is the only name given. Many people are baptized by the Spirit. And the Spirit gives them gifts. But the gift to see and prophecy, is rare, unique, and feared. But I have seen colorful vivid and dreams full of light. But i have also seen dreams, from the enemy. I have also seen dreams from my own soul. It is good to know the differences. I hope to learn more of them, soon. Then I wont be so hurt again, by men, who do not know. How much God has loved me, preparing me all life long. I have known of these two, all life long. Warned of them. But I know God. And I have known also, His Son. I was sent to someone who believed he was good enough to see God without believing Jesus was the only way? As if he would be good enough, to see God’s face, without Jesus who washes our sins clean one day. That was why, it was Jesus who sent me. Because God loves, and watches over, His beloved. To point him to Jesus, all I knew to do, was love. Forgive. Make him wonder, what was different about me. What it was or is. Surely it is love, that has helped him. To know more of Jesus. And that was why I was sent to him first, by Jesus Spirit. Because to God, I believe, a human is he, and beloved. Created. All, have their purpose. And I have found, I was always made, for this. Because I have known, His Son, Jesus. But to say God has not called me to leave this place and never return, as He was angry, would be a lie. I cannot go back there. Or I will die. God is protecting me. From death. It is hard to make sense of it.

    In our story, I have indeed been portrayed, as both women. Because that is God’s grace. Representative. How far, His love might go. It was only a story, though. And there certainly are things, no one but God knows. But I have seen many of my dreams, come true though. That is how, I know, that only God alone, knows. He does not like us to know. Not even angels and demons know what He knows. God does not like us to know what He alone knows. He only wanted His people to eat of the tree of life. Long ago. But we have knowledge of good and evil today, because the first two humans, were unfaithful. That was why God had sent Jesus long ago. I believe to provide a way, that the original sin of man, and sin for all time, be forgiven. If only we had the faith, and heart of love, for Him. But. It is obvious. I am only Kalyn. And I will not be persecuted for my faith to believe, in this. God always hoped I’d find a sweet loving husband. But I have much to do, before then. It will start, as I write of these events. Kalyn had never been good, with men. But Kalyn, knows of them. That was why Kalyn was chosen to portray, the women. But I cannot be just any random dudes wife, nor can they be my husband. Only someone, who knows and loves, Him. Kalyn has only been protected. But still Kalyn does not want, to marry him. They will never see Kalyn, again. Kalyn is only upset at them. That is why Kalyn has door slammed them. As any other human, Kalyn tried her best ganbare to make sense of strange happenings. But kalyn is not a man. Kalyn is a woman. Kalyn is nothing. No one. Kalyn. Is kalyn. Prophetic dreams I saw play out infront of me. It freaked me out honestly. But some, were only part of the story. And some, what people think of me. But i am no dragon. And prophetic dreams cane with the anointing. Because when I lived for God, that was when He revealed Himself to me in such glory, sending His strongest angels to watch over and protect me. They have gone ahead of me, and they are trying to save me. God always hoped I’d find my husband. And have a family. But i have been shown, not just any random person can be with me. Only someone who has the heart of Christ. Someone like me, who freely dies. I do not believe that word game is eyes. Nor do I believe any of you to be angels. Nor have I seen the seven spirits of God. Nor have I seen any of those things at all. I have only felt pain, suffering, calling of sins, demons, ridicule, negative, evil. That is what I have felt, in Egypt.

    Take care, blogger, Frank. But if you are Scott, God has warned me, never to go back there. And if you loved me, I did care. I just didn’t want you to love me, more than God, because my life is a sacrifice for God, and I may die in some years. Because I have portrayed both women, here. That was why God had kept me alive, last year. Knowing already, the hope Ge would give me, here. I lived for Him, only to die for Jesus. As any good disciple of Him. And I actually only wanted to know i was not crazy. As God does not like me to question who i am, and my own sanity.

    Goodbye πŸ˜”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for liking my post! I am changing genres. I thought mystery was my thing but I noticed I seem to be buying and reading more ya fantasy and sci fi then mystery and I had wanted to write fantasy with dragons and fairies and magic before so I just rebranded myself as a ya fantasy novelist.

    Liked by 1 person

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